Learning how to be resilient and bounce back after tough times can be a huge help for your mental and physical health. Here’s how.

Anyone feel like they’ve been on a rollercoaster, and not the fun kind?

The rollercoaster of emotions is not a ride most people want to get on.

One day you’re up, making all the things happen, and the next day you can barely get out of bed.

You might be upset that you’re not nearly as resilient as you once were.

Your resilience isn’t gone but it might be time for a tune-up.

So, let’s talk about how to develop resilience and bounce back after you’ve experienced a setback.

How to Bounce Back After Tough Times

Feel It

The first step in building resilience and bouncing back after tough times is actually a bit counterintuitive.

To move forward, practice standing still.

We’re always in such a hurry to get through things that we can push down feelings and emotions.

If you’re constantly pushing down your anger and frustration, only to find them re-appearing moments later, try sitting with them.

What we resist persists.

So in order to move through an emotion, we actually need to experience it, feel it in our bodies, and appropriately process it to get to the other side.

Know Your Triggers

Sitting with your feelings will help you identify where you most often get stuck.

Maybe you have an in-law who always pushes your buttons. The next time you’re engaged in a heated conversation with them, take a few deep breaths before responding with a negative knee-jerk answer.

You could also tell them that you’d like to refrain from talking about politics with them or whatever topic you don’t see eye-to-eye on.

When you’re aware of your triggers, you can make plans to adapt.

Come up with some set phrases or actions you can take when your trigger occurs.

Whatever it is, learn to see the trigger coming so you can prepare and protect yourself.

Reflect

If you’re struggling with your resilience and how to bounce back, remember a difficult time in the past that you successfully got through.

Maybe you had a hard move or lost your job or ended a relationship, or experienced all three at the same time. How did you cope before with these setbacks?

Remember the details and how you got to the other side.

If you don’t remember all the details, simply remember that you DID in fact get through the tough time. You did bounce back and were resilient.

Knowing you did it once can be helpful in knowing that you can do it again.

Connect

Whenever I’m feeling stuck, calling a friend always helps. Sometimes I just get stuck playing the same old negative loop in my head. Talking to someone helps me work through any issues.

If you don’t have a reliable or sympathetic ear to talk to, or if you need greater help, turn to a professional.

Friends and family members can often be too close to us and our issues to speak objectively and provide assistance.

A therapist or coach can be a non-biased and helpful influence to help you process what you’re going through so you can come out feeling even stronger and more centered.

As a Certified Life and Health Coach, I love working with women to get them balanced, living a life that they love, in a body that makes them feel confident. Learn more about my coaching program here.

I also love physically getting people out of their day-to-day so they can think bigger, relax more fully, and loosen the ties between their many negative looping thoughts.

If you’ve never been on a day-long retreat, it’s a wonderful gift for the mind and body and I have one coming up in Malibu, CA May 18. Join us for a soul-centering day that will leave you feeling grounded and balanced.

Find Joy

When we’re feeling unhappy and unable to bounce back, it’s often because we can’t see anything but the negative things happening in our lives.

If your mind is fixated on all the bad stuff, then that’s all you’re going to see.

That’s when you have to go out and find some joy. Yes, sometimes you have to go find it. Sometimes you have to even create it yourself.

Practicing gratitude is always a good way to find some joy and appreciate what is going well in your life. Focusing on what’s going well can give a quick boost to your day and life.

Another way to find joy in your life is to grab a loved one or just go do something that lights you up.

Immerse yourself in music, art, nature, or spend time with a pet. Whatever it is, make sure you set aside time to experience it. Your brain and body will thank you.

Be Flexible

One thing that can hold us back from being truly resilient is when we’re stuck in our ways and not flexible.

If we need something to happen a very specific way or want people to act in a specific way, we can get really upset when it doesn’t unfold as we want. And spoiler, life often doesn’t go according to plan.

We can’t control a darn thing. Bummer, right?

The only thing we can control is our reaction to things.

So see where you can let up on needing one, and only one outcome.

Where can you release some control so you can enjoy life more as it’s naturally unfolding around you?