Why You're Stuck and How to Move Forward
/You may be in a job you dislike, a relationship that doesn’t work, or unable to make a decision on a big or small problem. Here’s why you’re stuck and how to move forward.
We’ve all been there.
Whether it’s staring at a blank screen with a looming deadline or unable to make a decision on a pressing problem, you’re frozen.
Here’s why you’re stuck and how to move forward.
I’m not one to dwell on the negative so it may seem strange to want to dig into the reasons on why you get stuck in life.
The thing is, if you’re not aware of something, you can’t change it.
If you’re not aware that you’re stuck, you can’t move forward.
By looking at the reasons you get stuck in the first place, you can learn to identify the triggers that cause them so that you can avoid them in the future.
Why You’re Stuck
Your Goal is Too Big
Say you dream of being a well-known best-selling author, yet you’ve never written a page for anyone to read. You’re likely going to feel a little overwhelmed at going from unknown to big-time writer.
One way to get unstuck from this feeling is to break your goal into smaller pieces. The best-selling book isn’t going to happen overnight. Start to move towards your goal with baby steps like writing a lengthy Instagram or Facebook post, sharing your thoughts on a possible book topic. Regular posts for several months could lead to a new following and a few chapters in your first book.
Your Definition of Success is Too Narrow
People often get stuck when they define success in one very specific way. If the aspiring writer only defines success as publishing a best-selling book, he may be pretty miserable for a pretty long time.
Success can have many stops and take many turns. With one Facebook post, you could touch someone going through a tough time and turn their day, and possibly their life, around.
Having only one definition for success can make you feel stuck and unsuccessful. Breaking down the goal can help you move forward while also feeling like you’re accomplishing things along the way
You’re Married to Perfection
Perfection can definitely keep you stuck. I’ve been there and know what a beast perfectionism can be.
If you can’t make a move until everything is fully researched, vetted, and proven, then guess what, you’re not going anywhere. Nothing is ever going to be perfect so while research and studying up on something can be helpful, don’t let it hinder you from taking steps to move forward.
You’re Addicted to Pain
It may sound strange, but some people are addicted to pain and that keeps them stuck. Being in pain allows them to be a martyr. To leave a bad job or ill-fitting relationship would rob them of their pain and victimhood.
Hopefully at some point, someone in pain could come at some point realize that they want to feel a better sensation and be in a healthier situation. Then they will be ready for change.
You’re Focused Only on One Path
Often we think there’s only way to get what we want so when we hit a roadblock on this path, we get stuck. We don’t know how to plow through the obstacle.
Sometimes the best way to get unstuck is to look at a different path or something slightly off your originally intended course. You may find that the new path is even better.
You Want Things to be Different
I know I get stuck when I’m in a situation that I simply want to be different than it is. I’ve taken on a project that wasn’t at all what I thought it was going to be. Then I spent so much time willing it to be different, instead of actually working on it, as is.
It’s not until I accepted the new direction of the project that I was able to move forward and take action. In this case, I decided to fully embrace the new vision of the project and then throw my resources into it from there.
You Have a Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is one of the biggest ways people get stuck. You can’t move forward because what if your idea is a bomb? What if the new relationship doesn’t work?
Fear doesn’t always go away but we can learn to move forward and live in harmony with it. When I look back at the things I’m most proud of, every single one of them included a huge fear of failure. I’ve learned there’s no reward without at least a little bit of risk.
You’re Not Living in Alignment
One reason you might find yourself stuck is that you’re not living in alignment with your values. If you’re working at a job you don’t like but really does a nice job of paying the bills, you may feel like you’re stuck there.
Here’s the thing though, there’s no price you can put on your integrity that’s worth compromising yourself. Make a plan to get out of a job or a relationship that doesn’t align with your values.
You’re on the Wrong Path
Sometimes you’re stuck because you’re simply in the wrong place. You may be in a 5-year relationship that you feel fully vested in due to the time commitment, but sometime people grow apart. Sometimes people’s goals and life ambitions change, separating you.
Be sure to check in on whatever path you’ve chosen to make sure it still serves you.
You’re Perspective is Too Narrow
You’re bound to get stuck if you keep a very narrow perspective. If you think things can only be done one certain way, you’re going to have a hard time. I know I can focus on a specific problem so closely that I can’t see one other way out.
Stepping back to see a bigger picture can help with perspective and seeing new solutions.
How to Move Forward When You’re Stuck
Having a coach as an unbiased third party to help you remove obstacles can be helpful. Not only can they help you with a path forward, they can also help hold you accountable to create all that you want in your life.
As a Transformational Health and Life Coach, I work with women to help them get clear on where they’re heading, what might be in their way, and how to get there.
You can learn more by setting up a free discovery call.
Get Unstuck
In addition to using the steps above to move forward, I also wrote a whole post on how to quickly get unstuck. Here are the five major ways.
Break the Project Into Small Pieces
Don’t think you have to get to your goal in one step. It’ll take many, but the key is to start with one, big or small.
Ask for Help
If you don’t know why you’re stuck, try phoning a friend or a therapist. Often the act of talking it out can help reveal answers you didn’t see before.
As a Certified Holistic Health Coach, I can sit with you to help you get clear on your goals, and then support you in achieving them. You can read more on how to work with me here.
Move
No, you don’t need to move to another state, but rather, go for a walk. Physical movement can help get you out of your head and may also assist in bringing on some new ideas.
Breathe
Sitting and holding your breath for clarity isn’t often helpful. Take time to relax and be present while taking deep inhales and exhales.
Find Inspiration
Doing new things and going to different places can help spark your imagination and bring on clarity to move in a new direction.
